Shrek

A conversation from my first year of teaching:

B (a little girl that I had for that year): Ms. Ingram, why aren't you married?
Me: Some people just aren't married.
B: But why aren't YOU married?
Me: Because I have scales under all my clothes.
(What else was I going to say? You can't really explain the perils of dating or even finding a date at that time of my life to a second grader.)
B: (lost in thought for awhile) I KNOW! You can marry Shrek!

Some green-stir fry that maybe even Shrek would enjoy

Tofu with scallions, snow peas and bell peppers in Oyster Sauce
(from Food Network Magazine, March 2010, "11,375 Stir-Fries")

Oyster Sauce
Mix 3/4 cup chicken broth, 1 TBSP cornstarch, 1 TBSP Chinese rice wine or dry sherry, 1 TBSP soy sauce, 3 TBSP oyster sauce and 2 tsp sesame oil.

1. Whisk 1 egg white, 1 TBSP Chinese rice wine or dry sherry and 1 TBSP cornstarch. Toss with cubed tofu (extra-firm); cover and refrigerate, 1 hour.
2. Drain the excess marinade from the protein. Place your sauce, vegetables and protein near the stove.
3. Heat 1/4 inch vegetable oil in a wok or skillet over medium heat. Add the tofu and brown on both sides-do not stir. Transfer to a plate; discard the oil and wipe out the pan.
4. Heat the pan over high heat, 1 to 2 minutes. Add 2 TBSP oil, then 2 cloves minced garlic (or really 4 cloves for me), 1 to 2 TBSP minced ginger, 2 minced scallions and a pinch each of salt and sugar; stir-fry for about 30 seconds. Add then vegetables, starting with the ones that take the longest to cook; stir-fry until crisp-tender.
5. Add the tofu and oyster sauce and stir until the sauce is thick and the vegetables are cooked through, about 3 minutes. Thin with chicken broth, if needed. Garnish with sliced scallions, peanuts, sesame seeds, sliced jalapenos and/or cilantro.